Ano sa, Kakashi sensei
by Fire and Sand
Summary: Naruto's dense but he wasn't stupid. Kakashi's old enough to know who his father is, so why not ask? But with Kakashi, he could be telling the truth, or he could be telling lies, lies, and more lies. Will he tell Naruto who his father is, or not?


Fire: Okay, I know it has been a while since I last uploaded, so I thought I'd do a oneshot while I try to recount what I wrote for the rest of the Wait for Me series. TT TT Pixel! (yelling at the computer) Why did you have to zonk out on me!

Sasuke: We're working hard. Hopefully, we'll be back to our usual schedule by next week. Just a lot of editing left to do.

Naruto: This one is about me, right? Right?

Fire: Ahem! Yes, Naruto. We're uploading specifically today because this is the one year anniversary of the day we created this account! (celebration music plays in the background) Yes, it has been an entire year since Fire and Sand created our account. Aren't you happy?

Sasuke: No. We actually have to upload all this stuff.

Fire: Sasuke! Stop being so mean! TT TT This is supposed to be a happy day!

Naruto: You didn't even post until my birthday.

Fire: Yes, look out for the post on October 10 in commemoration of our first post, and in celebration of Naruto's birthday! Yay! (throws Naruto dolls at the audience)

Naruto: I expect lots of presents.

Sasuke: Are you talking to me? I'm not giving you any presents, dobe.

Naruto: TT TT But why?

Sasuke: No reasons! Just no!

Naruto: TT TT Please?

Sasuke: I said no!

Fire: Um...anyway, please don't stop reading our series. I promise it'll be back to its usual schedule soon!

Sasuke: Yeah, right.

Fire: Stop that! You know that we're editing now!

Sasuke: ...

Fire: Anyway... (shouts to the shadowy workers in the rafters) ...roll the oneshot! (oneshot slowly pushes everything else off the screen)

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Disclaimer: Do I look like Masashi-sensei to you? If I do, I suggest you go and see an optometrist about a pair of glasses.

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Warning: This is my spoiler alert. There are characters in this oneshot that won't appear until chapter 90/episode 52. So if you haven't read the manga or watched the anime up to those chapters/episodes, please find the scanlations or fandubs and read/watch up to that point before reading this story. If you didn't read this warning and read the oneshot before you realized there are spoilers, then you should have read this first, shouldn't you?

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Note: This story takes place between the end of the Konoha Invasion Arc and the Beginning of the Akatsuki Intro Arc. If you don't remember when this story would happen, it would happen right between chapters 138 and 198 in the manga, or if you watch the anime, between episodes 80 and 81. Is that specific enough for a non-AU? (laugh)

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**Ano-sa, Kakashi-sensei**

**A Fire Project**

**Oneshot**

**H**e had expected this question long ago. Actually, Kakashi had thought that his student would have figured it out earlier. Anyone else would have thought of it much sooner. But it _was_ Naruto. Kakashi wasn't surprised when the question finally came, completely without warning, one day, as they were resting after a long training session. "Ano-sa, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said slowly, as if he was adequately covering up his intentions, even though Kakashi could see right through him. "You were around when I was born, right?"

The grey-haired jounin had to think for a moment before he answered. "No. Of course not, Naruto. I'm actually younger than you."

"Really?" Naruto actually believed him.

"No, Naruto," Kakashi said exasperatedly. He wished his student had more common sense.

"Baka!" Sakura smacked Naruto in the head. "Of course Kakashi-sensei's older than us!"

The blond shinobi turned to the pink-haired kunoichi. "Itai-ttebayo. You don't have to hit me, Sakura-chan!"

"Don't have to hit you? I should hit you again to smack some sense into your thick head!" Sakura raised her hand with every intention of hitting her teammate.

She wasn't kidding.

"Hm..." Kakashi casually interrupted Sakura before she could truly injure the jinchuuriki. "Naruto, what did you want to ask me?" He asked although he already knew what Naruto was going to say. Stealth wasn't one of Naruto's strong points.

"Ano...you see...Kakashi-sensei..."

However, Naruto didn't know that he wasn't hiding his thoughts properly.

He never _did_ realize that he didn't have any stealth.

Any kind of stealth.

"...I was wondering...if you...ano..."

"Just say it, urusatonkachi. We don't have all day to wait for your question." Sasuke's annoyed voice came from a solitary corner of the training grounds. He had specifically chosen a place where Sakura couldn't reach him.

"Urusai, Sasuke!" Naruto glared into the cold shadows where Sasuke pretended not to notice the blond shinobi's retaliating blue eyes. "I'm trying to ask Kakashi-sensei if he knows who my father is!"

"Ah, Naruto," Sakura said cautiously, she doubted if the dense blond had realized that he had inavertently asked Kakashi-sensei his question already.

"So, Kakashi-sensei, you must know who my father is, ne? Ne?" Naruto turned to the grey-haired jounin as if he hadn't shouted his question at Sasuke a moment ago. "You _must _know!"

Kakashi slowly inched away from Naruto. His blond student's face was suddenly less than two centimetres from his nose, and Naruto's breath smelled strongly of ramen.

"Sensei, you have to tell me!" Naruto had realized it only then, at that moment when he was sitting by Kakashi. He had realized that Kakashi was older than him. Kakashi might have actually met his father. He could know him! "What was he like? Tell me! Tell me!"

Kakashi stared at his student as he backed away for a final time. Then, his back hit a tree and he couldn't run anymore. "Actually," the jounin sensei said slowly as he looked frantically for a way out, but even if he ran away, Naruto would eventually find him and coerce the answer out of him. "Naruto, I was..." His mind tried to think of a way out of this situation, but there was nothing he could do. There was no way out. There was only one choice left. "...meaning to..."

He had to tell him!

"...tell you this for a long time." Kakashi took a deep breath. "Naruto..."

The blond shinobi sat eagerly for the answer.

"..._I'm _your father!"

At which point, Sakura smashed her fist into Kakashi's head, sending him sprawling forwards. "Baka! You're only fifteen years our senior! You can't be Naruto's father!" Kakashi wasn't _that_ irresponsible!

"Don't lie to me, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said irritatedly. _'When I find out who it is, I'm going to make him regret abandoning me!'_ "I know you know who he is."

For a moment, Naruto had actually believed that Kakashi was his father.

"I didn't seriously think you were going to believe _I _was your father, Naruto," Kakashi said with a wary tone, his expression a contorted mix of caution and apology. _'Kuso! I'll have to think of someone else!'_ "Actually, your father is..."

**A**suma was walking casually toward Shikamaru's house. It was almost time for their daily shougi game, and he was confident that today he had thought of a strategy that could beat his chuunin student. But his confidence instantly shattered as a yellow streak streamed through the crowd and latched tightly to his torso. "Tousan!" The happy shout was enough to blow away any confidence he had.

Asuma didn't know what was happening. _'Tousan?'_ He was sure that he didn't have any children. "Look, kid," he said before he realized that it was Naruto strapped around his waist. "Naruto! I'm not your father!"

The blond shinobi stared at the man for a moment before shaking his head. "Demo..."

"No!" Asuma was never more confident about anything. "I don't have _any_ children, most of all any children your age!" He was only a year older than Kakashi. He wasn't _that_ irresponsible! "Besides, do you really believe you're a _Sarutobi!"_

At which Naruto quickly released Asuma and backed two blocks away. _'A Sarutobi?'_ That meant he would be related to Konohamaru...and worse, he would be related to... The blond shinobi looked up at the Hokage Monument, his fear-filled blue eyes fixing on the face of Sandaime Hokage. "No!" He didn't want _that man_ for a grandfather, no matter how cool being related to a Hokage would be!

Asuma was right. He wasn't Naruto's father.

**W**hen Naruto found Kakashi, there was a slight bruise on his wrists where someone had obviously grabbed him and twisted his arm around until he promised never to lie about him again. Of course, no one asked Kakashi about the bruise, so the jounin didn't tell anyone what had happened, or who had done something like that to him. Not even Naruto asked about it. The blond genin had other questions on his mind.

"You lied to me, Kakashi-sensei," the blond shinobi said slowly as he glared maliciously at his sensei. It was obvious after he thought about it. Asuma was definitely not his father. "Tell me the truth!" Naruto pointed accusingly at the grey-haired jounin. "Tell me! Tell me who my father is!"

The blond jinchuuriki's voice vibrated through Kakashi's empty apartment. Of all the times Naruto could have appeared, he chose to wake him at three in the morning to interrogate him.

"It's Ebisu. Ebisu's your father. Now let me sleep, Naruto." Kakashi pushed his student off his bed and pulled the blankets over his head. When he woke in the morning, he didn't even remember that Naruto had come to visit him.

**E**bisu was having a relatively good morning, but then, nothing had happened to change his mood yet. Emphasis on the yet. Konohamaru had been difficult to teach lately, always running away to spend time with Udon and Moegi when he should have been studying and learning new techniques. But he wasn't going to let that happen today! Today, he was going to successfully stop his pupil from neglecting his lessons. He had found some interesting ninjutsu for Konohamaru the other day and had written it all down, step by step for easy learning. Konohamaru definitely wasn't going to run away from him today!

At least, he was confident about that until a yellow streak slammed into his chest and locked itself in place. Ebisu didn't know what to think for a moment, and before his mind could even begin to scrape confusion away from the surface of his thoughts, the blond-haired shinobi slammed the tokubetsu-jounin's head into the ground with a painful suplex.

All of Ebisu's senses vanished as his mind blacked out, but he was faintly aware of someone yelling at him before his ears could tune into what the attacker was saying.

"...can't believe you're my father! I knew he had to be a lowlife to abandon a great ninja like me! I'm going to break every bone in your—"

"N-nani!" Ebisu's eyes actually managed to clear enough to focus on the blond-haired form of Naruto standing over him. "_I'm _not your father!" What kind of insane maniac told Naruto _that_! "We don't even have the same blood type!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the tokubetsu-jounin. "How did _you_ know my bloodtype?" The blond shinobi was good at twisting others' words around. "Unless...you _are_ my father!" He pointed accusingly at the man. "Don't try to argue your way out of it!"

"I'm not!" Ebisu shouted it quickly before Naruto—or anyone who could be listening—could misunderstand. He couldn't believe that he had to say this to Naruto! Of all the people who could accuse him of being their father, it had to be this guy! "I looked up your personal information when you began interacting with Konohamaru-bocchama!" They hated each other. Who would put such an annoying suggestion into the jinchuuriki's mind!

Naruto stared at the tokubetsu-jounin bleeding on the ground. _'Oh yeah...'_ He had forgotten that Ebisu was the kind of man who would memorize everything—down to the smallest details—of anyone interacting with his student. He should have known it wasn't possible. _'Besides, I don't want him to be my father.'_ He wasn't _that_ desperate.

Kakashi _had _to be lying to him.

Again.

**W**hen Naruto walked up to Kakashi, his sensei was limping slightly. Neither of them said anything about it since the blond shinobi had some idea of what had happened. From what he could see—with what little observational skills he had—someone had kicked Kakashi out of anger. If that person was braver, he could have broken Kakashi's leg, but apparently, that person either respected Kakashi too much, or feared him too much to do that.

"You lied again!" Naruto shouted instead.

"Hm? Lied?" Kakashi couldn't remember what he had lied about. "What did I say to you?"

"You said that teme, Ebisu, was my father! He's not my father!" _'My father couldn't be THAT pathetic!'_

"Ebisu?" Kakashi's head tilted as his mind rummaged through his memory. _'When did I say that?'_ "Of course Ebisu's not your father." Kakashi pulled out Icha Icha Paradise in an attempt to hide himself from Naruto.

But of course the orange book wasn't enough to hide him.

"Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto growled, annoyed by his sensei's lies. "Who is my father! Tell me the truth! Tell me!"

"It's Fuga—" Kakashi stopped as the cold glare of a pair of murderous sharingan burned into his back. "I mean..."

The grey-haired jounin coughed in an attempt to rid his mind of Sasuke's evil thoughts. He could hear Sasuke's words drilling into his mind. _'I am NOT Naruto's brother!'_

"...it's..." Kakashi said the first name he could think of.

**J**iraiya was having a good day so far. He had slept late until noon and had managed to put in three hours of research without incident, not to mention he had avoided everything from Tsunade's annoying summons to run-ins with Naruto. So far, he had done nothing strenuous, and he had no intention of doing anything that involved really hard work for the rest of the day.

At least, that was what he wanted until a yellow streak slammed into his torso and sent him flying over the wall of the public bath house, scattering the frantically screaming women on the other side. "Why didn't you tell me!" Naruto's familiar shout came through the thick steam, even though the sannin couldn't see him. "Ero-sennin, how could you keep such an important secret from me!"

From the pool of hot water, the sannin tried to remember what kind of important secret he was keeping from Naruto, but he couldn't think of anything. "What are you talking about, Naruto?" He was keeping nothing from him.

"You're my father!" Naruto should have known! He was too much like Jiraiya! It couldn't have been a coincidence! "Why didn't you tell me, Ero-sennin!"

"Father?" Jiraiya pulled his drenched body out of the hot spring and backed fearfully away from the blond shinobi. More than anything, he feared fatherhood. "Are you insane?" _'Who told Naruto such a stupid lie?'_ "Do you know how old I am?" He couldn't have a son Naruto's age!

"Don't lie! You're such a lecher that you _could _be my father!" Naruto wasn't going to be persuaded by Jiraiya's words. Someone like his sannin-sensei wasn't going to tell him the truth, no matter what he said.

"Naruto, think about it first," Jiraiya said slowly. No matter what, he had to convince Naruto that he wasn't his father. "I leftKonoha _years_ before you were born. How can I be your father?" He was so convincing that he almost believed himself. _'Because it's true! Don't confuse yourself! Chikusho!'_

The blond shinobi thought for a moment, his mind slowly processing Jiraiya's words. A lot of people had brought up the subject, the fact that the white-haired sannin had left Konoha years ago. He knew that Jiraiya wasn't lying about it.

Jiraiya couldn't be his father.

Kakashi was lying to him. Again!

**W**hen Naruto found Kakashi walking by Ichiraku Ramen, his jounin sensei's limp had slightly improved, but now, he had a black eye. And it was the uncovered eye, so it was very obvious. Naruto couldn't imagine who could be bold enough to punch Kakashi in the face, or who could be skilled enough to accurately hit him, but whoever it was was obviously very angry. The blond shinobi was curious about who had done that to his sensei, but he refrained from asking about the eye. His sensei didn't seem to want to talk about it, even if he seemed adequately cheerful to answer Naruto's question.

So, Naruto decided not to ask Kakashi about the eye. There was no telling when his sensei's mood would change and he wouldn't be able to ask about his father anymore. "Ano-sa..." Naruto said slowly. He was hungry and wanted to go to Ichiraku Ramen—which they were standing right in front of—but he couldn't go in until he asked Kakashi his question. Kakashi obviously wasn't heading to the ramen stand. "...Sensei..." But Naruto's stomach was growling.

"I'm not going to buy you ramen, Naruto," Kakashi said, his decisive voice immediately refusing with a hint of annoyed anger.

Naruto had no idea what his sensei was angry about, but it couldn't be _him_. At least, he couldn't think of anything that could make his sensei angry at him. "You lied about Jiraiya being my father!" Naruto retaliated with an angry shout of his own. "Tell me the truth! WHO IS MY FATHER!"

Kakashi looked to his left, then to his right before picking a safe name to say. "It's Dan—"

"What did you say?" Tsunade's angry voice came from behind Kakashi, and her furious aura froze the grey-haired jounin before he could finish.

"I meant, it couldn't possibly be Dan! He died _long_ before you were born!" Kakashi said quickly as Tsunade's fist smashed into the side of his head.

"Don't lie about something like that!" Tsunade shouted before stomping angrily away.

Kakashi and Naruto tried to ignore Tsunade's awkward attack.

The grey-haired jounin was about to mention the blood slowly trickling down the side of his head, but Naruto interrupted him before he could even mention it. "Ano, Sensei, can't you just tell me the truth?" Although Naruto hadn't asked Kakashi about the many injuries he had gathered over the last two days, the blond genin knew that it had something to do with the people Kakashi had lied about.

No one wanted to be labelled a father horrible enough to abandon his newborn son.

Kakashi limped into Ichiraku Ramen and sat down before his concussion could send him collapsing to the ground. Naruto followed his sensei, and immediately ordered five large bowls of chasu ramen for his growling stomach.

"Don't expect me to share," Naruto quickly said to his sensei before Kakashi could ask him for a bowl. Kakashi always found some way to get out of buying ramen for him, so he definitely wasn't going to give any of _his_ ramen to the jounin.

But Kakashi didn't seem to have heard Naruto. He placed his head on the counter, allowing the blood from the gaping wound on his scalp to flow onto the wood surface. "Naruto," he said slowly before he could lose consciousness. "Actually..."

"Ramen!" Naruto's exclaimation covered over the rest of Kakashi's sentence as Teuchi set the first of his five bowls of ramen in front of him. "What was that, Kakashi-sensei?" He turned to the grey-haired man as his mind faintly remembered that his sensei was trying to say something important to him.

"Actually, Naruto, I..." Kakashi strove to retain consciousness. "...can't remember who it is." It was either the blood rushing out of his head or that he really couldn't remember, but the name and face both escaped him...

...right before everything went black.

Naruto stared at his sensei, the chopsticks cracking in his frustrated hands. He had asked Kakashi for the truth and _that_ was it? _'Kuso!'_ He bent over his bowl of ramen. _'I'm never going to find out who my father is!'_

_And_ his sensei had found a way to make fun of him for two days! Without his figuring it out!

"Ossan, Kakashi-sensei's paying tonight!" Naruto said angrily as he finished his first bowl of ramen. It wouldn't take long to eat everything. He would definitely finish his food before his sensei woke up.

Although he _should_ probably call for a medic-nin for his sensei's bleeding head.

But not until he finished his meal.

He was too angry to think of anything else.

**End Oneshot**

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Moral of the Story:

Lies can hurt others, and they can hurt yourself. Whatever lie you may say for whatever reason you may have for saying it, know when to stop, because in the end, you only hurt yourself.

Fire's English tidbits for those who care:

I haven't written one of these for a while so bear with me. I'm going to talk about something obvious. See the pun? If you've read a lot of my work so far, you might have noticed, but if you haven't, I'm not going to give you a hard time about this. I state the obvious. Sometimes, implying something isn't enough. You can't just show that something is happening. You also have to tell the reader. I know that it sounds stupid sometimes, and it can decrease the quality of your story and reduce it to nothing more than a fairytale, but if you foreshadow it and build up to the moment you state the obvious, it only helps to confirm what your readers are already thinking. Then, there won't be any guessing about whether Naruto loves Sasuke, or if Sasuke actually likes Naruto, when you move on with your story. That kind of thing. It might not be something you want to do, but if you don't state the obvious, sometimes, it can harm your story more than if you did.

Fire's babbling:

Fire: --;; I hope that made sense.

Sasuke: That didn't make any sense.

Fire: TT TT Really?

Naruto: TT TT Kakashi-sensei! Why didn't you just tell me you didn't know!

Sakura: I think it was the concussion.

Naruto: Nani? (angry) Then you should have told me who it was in the first place!

Fire: --;;

Sasuke: Baka. He should have chosen more convincing men to play Naruto's father.

Naruto: O.O;;; But I really believed him!

Fire: Ahem. Please send me a review. I've been busy lately, but I'll be getting back to all the reviews I've missed so far. If you send me a note on anything you like, or don't like, expect a reply. Sooner or later.

Sasuke: Later than sooner.

Fire: Sasuke!

Sasuke: It's only the truth.

Fire: TT TT Bye. I might add more to this later, if I feel like it.

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